**语体(register)**指写作的正式程度。平衡的语体清楚、礼貌、中性:对校长或委员会这样的读者来说足够正式,同时浅白到一读就懂。
这项技能出现在报告与长篇写作中的每一道报告、文章和电邮题里。评分者会看你的语气从第一行到最后一行是否始终合适。
平衡的语体听起来是什么样?
它介于两个极端之间。
| 太随便 | 平衡 | 太生硬 |
|---|---|---|
| “The queue is crazy long.” | “The queue is long.” | “The length of the queue is of considerable magnitude.” |
| “Loads of people can’t get lunch.” | “Some students cannot buy lunch.” | “A substantial number of pupils are unable to procure sustenance.” |
| “So yeah, we should fix it.” | “The school could address this.” | “It is hereby recommended that remedial action be undertaken.” |
平衡的写法用完整形式(cannot、do not),用日常的正式词汇(buy、help、problem),语气礼貌,不用俚语、玩笑或感叹号。
检查语体的步骤
- 先想清读者:校长、委员会、同学还是社团。读者越高级或越陌生,语气就越正式。
- 一次读一句,问自己会不会在和那位读者开会时这样说。
- 标出俚语和缩写,例如 loads of、kids、gonna、can’t。
- 标出夸大的词,也就是没人会在说话中用的词,例如 procure 或 magnitude。
- 把每个标出的词换成浅白而中性的词。
- 再读整篇,检查程度是否一致。
例题
题目:向校长报告图书馆的噪音问题。
草稿:
The library is super noisy and it’s really getting on everyone’s nerves. Loads of students can’t concentrate, so they just give up and go home. We reckon the school must do something ASAP.
步骤 1,读者: 校长,所以要比较正式。
步骤 2 到 4,标记: super noisy、it’s、getting on everyone’s nerves、Loads of、can’t、just give up、We reckon、ASAP。
步骤 5,替换:
The library is very noisy, and this makes it difficult for students to concentrate. Some students leave because they cannot work in these conditions. The school could consider ways to reduce the noise as soon as possible.
步骤 6,再读: 程度一致,语气礼貌。没有需要查字典的词,也没有像对朋友说话的词。
要留意的错误
一个常见的失误是为了改掉随便的用语,又跳到另一个极端。
错误的修改: The library exhibits an unacceptably elevated level of auditory disturbance, which necessitates immediate remedial intervention.
这句话很正式,但也很沉重、更难读。校长看到 “very noisy” 会更快明白。
纠正的方法是选最简单的中性词,而不是最气派的词。如果你无法用简单的话解释一个词,就不要用它。摘要选取与改写工作室可以帮你练习把沉重的短语换成浅白的说法,同时保持原意。
自我检测
1. 用平衡的语体改写:“The teachers are always moaning about homework not being handed in.”
Show answer
一种可能的答案:“Teachers have said that some homework is not handed in on time.” 不正式的 moaning 变成对老师所说内容的中性报告,句子也保持简短。
2. 写给委员会的报告,哪一句更好:“We’d like to propose a change” 还是 “We would like to propose a change”?
Show answer
“We would like to propose a change”。正式写作中,完整形式是更稳妥的选择。缩写并非在所有情况下都算错,但会让语气不那么正式,所以要看题目和读者。
3. 为什么 “It is imperative that the canteen rectify the deficiencies” 不适合用在学校报告里?
Show answer
对读者来说它太生硬、太沉重。较浅白的版本是 “The canteen needs to improve some things”,更好的是写出具体内容:“The canteen needs more seats and a second payment counter.”
接下来学什么
语体稳定之后,你就可以把四项技能合起来检测。试试报告与长篇写作练习,再看核对考试年份的实际题型,确保你练习的体裁是考试真正会出的。
语体最适合从对自己文章的反馈中学习。线上一对一第二语言英语补习中的老师可以指出语气变化的确切那个词。