Retelling happens when the order of the passage decides the order of your answer. A directed writing response is built from the task outward: who is reading, what do they need, and which source points serve that need.
This page shows a retold answer and a transformed answer to the same original task, then a planning routine you can reuse. The audience register and purpose planner and the writing revision compare view both support the steps below.
What does “retelling” look like?
Retelling has three signs. Your paragraphs follow the passage from start to finish. Most sentences begin with “The writer says” or repeat the passage’s own phrasing.
And the reader of your letter or speech learns nothing they could not get from the passage itself.
It is an easy trap because the passage feels safe. Copying its order removes the need to decide anything.
Worked example: same task, two answers
Here is an original passage and task, written for this page.
The Tanjung Harbour ferry has run every morning for forty years. Next month the operator will cut the 6.15 a.m. sailing, saying that only nine passengers use it. Those nine include two nurses, a baker who delivers to the island cafés, and a teacher who has not been late once in six years. The operator plans to replace the sailing with a bus that takes ninety minutes.
Task: You live on the island. Write a letter to the ferry operator arguing for keeping the 6.15 a.m. sailing.
The retold answer (opening):
Dear Sir, I read that you will cut the 6.15 a.m. sailing. You say that only nine passengers use it. They include two nurses, a baker and a teacher. You plan to replace it with a bus that takes ninety minutes. I do not think this is a good idea.
Every sentence reports the passage. The only opinion comes in the last line and has nothing behind it.
The transformed answer (opening):
Dear Sir, Nine passengers sounds small until you ask who they are. Two are nurses, one delivers bread to the island cafés, and one is a teacher with a six-year record of never arriving late. A ninety-minute bus would ask each of them to give up time they cannot spare, every working day. I am writing to ask you to keep the 6.15 a.m. sailing.
What changed:
- The letter opens with the operator’s own argument (the number nine) and turns it, so the reader is addressed directly.
- Details are grouped by what they prove: the people are important to the community and punctuality matters.
- The ninety-minute figure becomes a cost to real people, not a fact to report.
- The purpose is stated plainly near the end of the first paragraph.
A four-step routine that stops retelling
- Write the task in one sentence: “I am a [role] writing to [reader] to persuade or inform them to [action].”
- Mark three to five source points that serve that sentence. Cross out the rest, even the vivid ones.
- Give each chosen point a job: a reason, a consequence, a reply to an objection. A point with no job is retelling.
- Plan paragraphs by argument, not by passage order. Only then begin to write.
The habit to build is asking “so what for this reader?” after each source detail. If you cannot answer, the detail is reporting.
A mistake that looks like progress
Some students fix retelling by replacing “The writer says” with “As you may know”. The sentences still report the passage.
A better test is to cover the passage and read your answer. If it still makes a case on its own, you have transformed the material.
For more on choosing and reshaping source points, read transform information rather than retell it and select source material for a stated audience. The whole topic sits in directed writing and source use.
Check yourself
Take a short news item of your own choosing and invent a task that gives you a role and a reader. Write the one-sentence task, list four source points, and cross out at least one. Then draft the first paragraph in a different order from the article.
Compare your draft with the original in the writing revision compare view and ask two questions. Did the order change for a reason? Does each sentence do a job for the reader?
When might tuition help?
Self-study works well when you can see the pattern once it is named. If the same comment returns on several pieces, the cause is often hidden in how you plan rather than how you write. A teacher who sees your plan and your draft can tell which step is missing.
You can explore this through online one-to-one English First Language tuition, and revisit the wider English First Language learning guide between lessons.