A mismatch between claim and examples is one of the easier faults to fix once you can see it. It appears when you write fast, because the examples arrive first and the claim gets written to sound good. The repair is a short check and one of two rewrites.
This lesson draws together precise claims and linking evidence to explanation, and it is the natural last step of the argument structure module.
How do you find the mismatch?
Read the claim, then ask of each example: “If this were true, would it prove my claim?” If the honest answer is “it proves something nearby”, the example is off target.
The mismatch is often hidden by a confident connecting word such as therefore. Check the reasoning behind the word, not the word.
How to revise, step by step
- Underline the key idea in the claim.
- Test each example against that idea.
- Mark each example as matching, nearby or off target.
- Choose a route. Either change the claim to match the examples, or replace the examples to match the claim.
- Rewrite the explanation so it links the new pair.
- Reread as a sceptic: could someone accept the evidence and still reject the claim?
Worked example
Original paragraph (invented for practice):
Learning online helps students become more independent. Many lessons can be watched from home, which saves bus fares. Some platforms also offer cheaper subscriptions than printed textbooks. Therefore online study builds independence.
Step 1, key idea: independence.
Step 2 and 3, test: Bus fares saved: about cost, off target. Cheaper subscriptions: about cost, off target. The word “therefore” hides the gap.
Route A, change the claim:
Learning online can lower the cost of study. Lessons watched from home save the bus fares a school journey would need, and some platforms charge less than printed textbooks. For families watching their budget, this makes regular study easier to sustain.
Route B, change the examples:
Learning online helps students become more independent, because nobody else sets the pace. A student must decide when to log in, notice which topic needs a second viewing and chase up missing work without a teacher in the room. Each of these is a small act of self-management, and repeated over a term they become habit.
Both routes are sound. Route A keeps the evidence; Route B keeps the claim. Choose the one the essay needs.
The mistake to watch for
Patching the wrong part: The student adds a sentence, “Saving money also makes students more independent,” and keeps the rest.
This pretends the examples about cost are about independence. It is a bridging claim with no reasoning: why would saving bus fares build the habit of managing your own time?
The correction is to accept that the examples are for a different claim. Either follow Route A or find examples that show independence directly, as in Route B.
Check yourself
1. Claim: “Sport improves teamwork in schools.” Evidence: “Sports days raise money for equipment.” Does the evidence support the claim?
Show answer
No. It is about fundraising, not teamwork. A matching example would show students depending on one another, such as passing, covering a position or planning a tactic together.
2. Give two routes for repairing the paragraph in question 1.
Show answer
Route A: change the claim to fit the evidence, for example “Sports days help schools raise money for equipment.” Route B: keep the claim and replace the example with one about working together, such as a relay team practising handovers.
3. Why is “therefore” a risk in a revision check?
Show answer
It can hide the gap. It signals that a conclusion follows, but the reader still needs the reasoning. Check whether the example really leads to the claim before trusting the connective.
Where this leads next
Try the skills together in the argument structure practice set. Keep track of which fault you made each time in the mistake log and retest queue, and compare your first and revised paragraphs in the writing revision compare view.
Revision gets faster when someone shows you what to look for. That is a good use of online one-to-one English First Language tuition, where teachers can work on your own paragraphs.